blissed out geriatric shih tzu takes a walk

So today started out pretty much like yesterday did. By 7 am workmen were kicking porch-repair ass and by 8 the electrician was chopping walls and fishing cords hither and thither and the alarm guy was back for round two of the installation of my laser beam-shooting, siren-blaring, smoke, carbon monoxide, intruder, heat, flood, gas-leak and glass-break detecting, zillion dollar home security system. Bang bang, beep beep, weeeeeeeooooooooweeeeeeeeooooooo, merde, bzzzzzzzz hours later I found my self unpacking yet more kitchen stuff and praying for a power failure just to have a break from the noise. That combined with the smell of a weeks worth of uncollected garbage sitting out in this totally mild weather wafting through the open windows (city of Montreal, get it together and pick up the damned trash) was getting me a little unhinged. I did what any good citizen would do; I made a strongly worded phone call to the city and expressed my displeasure at their shoddy infrastructure. I was told the garbage would be picked up today. So far it has not been. At 6:17 pm I am not getting my hopes up.

What's with the shih tzu in the title you ask? Well I am getting to that. Finally, a quiet calm descended over the house. The workmen had all left, the dishwasher was clean, the laundry was done, and but for the weird smell coming from the fridge (the cause of which is a detective job I'll save for tomorrow) and the half-unpacked box I had abandoned, my day was officially coming to an end. I let my two dogs, a speckled dachshund mix named Fanny and a geriatric shih tzu named Cocoa out in the yard to play. I was watching the gap in the back fence where a 2x4 rotted and hasn't been replaced (lots to do around here) when my little rascal of a cat slipped out. No matter, thought I, I'll just slip on his collar and he can go too. I turned my back to fit the stylish neck-wear on Oscar and when I looked up, Cocoa was half-way through the gap in the fence. "No!" I yelled. Too late. I scuttled across the yard yelling "Cocoa, no! Cocoa no!" to no avail. I reached the fence that leads to the alley and peered through the gap. Cocoa was the picture of happiness (and deafness as her ears don't even budge when I continued to call frantically after her) wandering down the alley towards the street. Shit shit shit, I thought. My only access to the alley is by going out the front door and all the way up and around the street. By then she could have been run-over! I don't know how I managed, I really don't because I am no small thing these days at nearly 9 months pregnant, but I somehow shimmied through the very small gap in the fence. I was a shocked as you are when I found myself on the other side.

I caught up with miss Cocoa two houses down the alley and when I grabbed her she looked genuinely surprised to see me! I plopped her back through the fence, contemplating how I got through such a small space. I shrugged and figured I'd try it again. After all, if I got stuck at least the dogs wouldn't get out again. Miracle of miracles I fit! That is it. I am quitting while I'm ahead. No more squeezing my bulk through narrow passes for me (although I now have a new perspective on what my baby will experience). So that was my day, I hope tomorrow is truly boring.